It seems that I'm doing alot of this lately.
We spoke to a loss mitigation company yesterday and today about a modification of our loan. Ok. Sounds great. Now, we're not so sure.
It appears that there are quite a few scammers of this sort out there. So what to do? I don't know. We're praying though and will find peace in a decision. Tomorrow morning, we're making some phone calls....VA, mortgage company, you know, everybody. I just hope some of them are there on New Year's Eve. We'll see.
Worse case, we get foreclosed on and move. Best case, we keep our house and stay here. We'll see. I just know I'm not looking forward to the in between time.
Tomorrow night's gonna be good, though. We'll have some really good friends over and have communion and prayer for the new year. And a good new year it's gonna be.
Truly, foreclosure doesn't scare me. I'm not afraid of it. I just really hate the thought of the kids' dealing with it. I think Josh would have it the best, but still he's gonna be asking to go home pretty quickly if we had to leave.
I'm believing. I know that nothing is too far gone for God and our situation here is not a crisis at all for Him.
One of our instructors said once, "Hang out with Jesus - He's loaded." I love it!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Christmas
I forgot another amazing miracle. I think all these need separate posts, so here it is.
We were gifted $1000. Pretty cool, right? The first thought that came to my head was "tuition". Then I thought that maybe this was the answer to my prayer of how to give Christmas presents to our kids. We usually spend $50 per child and then use $100 to buy for Karleigh and Madeline, along with the kids' stockings. And I always do a stocking for Karleigh. So, I needed $300 for Christmas. I had asked the Lord to provide it and then here came this money.
I told David about it and the first thing he said was, "I really think we need to pay our tuition with that". I agreed, but wanted to make sure we shouldn't use $300 of it toward Christmas. I wanted to do with it what the Lord wanted us to, I just needed to hear from Him. I needed to make sure. I spent the next morning in the shower praying and asking. I heard Him very clearly tell me to pay tuition and He would take care of Christmas. Ok.
I went to school and told Kitty about it. I told her as soon as I cashed the check I'd have it for her, minus the tithe. She got excited. I told her God told me He'd take care of Christmas. She said he absolutely would. She said that He's the Giver of Gifts and He wants our kids to have Christmas too. It was so awesome to hear confirmation of that.
On the way home, I called David and told him all that had happened. He had been asleep when I left for school. When I got home, he went out and got the mail. We had a Christmas card with three $100 bills in it. Amazing.
God, you are the Giver of Gifts. You are so wonderful to me. You care about everything. Thank you.
We were gifted $1000. Pretty cool, right? The first thought that came to my head was "tuition". Then I thought that maybe this was the answer to my prayer of how to give Christmas presents to our kids. We usually spend $50 per child and then use $100 to buy for Karleigh and Madeline, along with the kids' stockings. And I always do a stocking for Karleigh. So, I needed $300 for Christmas. I had asked the Lord to provide it and then here came this money.
I told David about it and the first thing he said was, "I really think we need to pay our tuition with that". I agreed, but wanted to make sure we shouldn't use $300 of it toward Christmas. I wanted to do with it what the Lord wanted us to, I just needed to hear from Him. I needed to make sure. I spent the next morning in the shower praying and asking. I heard Him very clearly tell me to pay tuition and He would take care of Christmas. Ok.
I went to school and told Kitty about it. I told her as soon as I cashed the check I'd have it for her, minus the tithe. She got excited. I told her God told me He'd take care of Christmas. She said he absolutely would. She said that He's the Giver of Gifts and He wants our kids to have Christmas too. It was so awesome to hear confirmation of that.
On the way home, I called David and told him all that had happened. He had been asleep when I left for school. When I got home, he went out and got the mail. We had a Christmas card with three $100 bills in it. Amazing.
God, you are the Giver of Gifts. You are so wonderful to me. You care about everything. Thank you.
God is faithful
I don't know how or by what means, but God is going to do some amazing things with our house.
Last night, I took Jacob and Karleigh to see the new Narnia movie. I dropped them both back off over at my Mom's so Jake could spend the night there again.
On the way home, I was praying in the spirit and worshipping the Lord. I asked Him for wisdom and direction/understanding. I had a little communion thingy in my purse, so prayed over it and took it. I love communion (side note). I raised one hand to the Lord and shortly the Spirit was so sweet around me. It was so amazing. Peace. So sweet. The Lord just amazes me. And he showed me our house with deep roots under it. Above the house was the leaves of a plant. They were huge like Elephant Ears (the plant). The leaves covered the house with a couple of layers and reached all directions, all around, and touched the ground. They were a covering like an umbrella, but a couple of layers.
He also spoke to my heart and told me that we would keep kids in the afternoon and evenings. He would bring them to us. We are to be in the morning classes, not evening ones. We were thinking of compromising that and that's not what He'd said for us to do.
Last night, I took Jacob and Karleigh to see the new Narnia movie. I dropped them both back off over at my Mom's so Jake could spend the night there again.
On the way home, I was praying in the spirit and worshipping the Lord. I asked Him for wisdom and direction/understanding. I had a little communion thingy in my purse, so prayed over it and took it. I love communion (side note). I raised one hand to the Lord and shortly the Spirit was so sweet around me. It was so amazing. Peace. So sweet. The Lord just amazes me. And he showed me our house with deep roots under it. Above the house was the leaves of a plant. They were huge like Elephant Ears (the plant). The leaves covered the house with a couple of layers and reached all directions, all around, and touched the ground. They were a covering like an umbrella, but a couple of layers.
He also spoke to my heart and told me that we would keep kids in the afternoon and evenings. He would bring them to us. We are to be in the morning classes, not evening ones. We were thinking of compromising that and that's not what He'd said for us to do.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
I forgot one
The day before Christmas break, we went as a class to another suite in our building that connects to ours. We were going to check it out and pray over it as a possible extension to our school's space. While we were praying, the Lord showed me our suite that we have has gone from the blade, to the ear, to the full head of corn ready to harvest. He showed me a shoot coming off of the original stalk that was that suite we were standing in. God is truly amazing.
Two posts in one day.
The director of our school suggested that I start writing some things down that God has shown me. I think this is a good place to do it.
I was over at my friend's apartment. I had come there to visit with her for a few minutes before I picked up Jacob from the church there in Durant. This friend was going through a divorce. She was being very emotion-led. At this particular time in her life, she was choosing to speak unbelief and ugliness over her husband. The Lord showed me a chasm between the two of us - it looked as real as if she were standing on one side of a canyon and I on the other. I could see the rocky edges and the straight drop-off. We were each standing on one side and staring at each other. For a brief second, there was even wind in our hair. The scripture immediately came to mind where Jesus said he came with a sword to divide. I think it's in Mark. As she continued to speak unbelief and lies of the devil, the chasm widened. I could even hear the ground rumbling and see rocks breaking off and falling into the chasm. I knew at that moment that our friendship was at a changing point. I know that God did not want me to cut her off from me, but was showing me that our relationship was definitely not the same. It was a shift from a mutual fellowship to more of a ministry. I had to separate myself some so that I could move forward in my calling. It was very hard to see that. She is very precious to me.
We had a walk-a-thon at school to pray and raise money for the 2nd year mission trip. We sent out letters requesting help with funds and each had an opportunity to give to the ministry. After the letters were returned, we went as a group to walk around White Rock Lake and pray over the prayer requests. I was walking behind our group when the Lord showed me everybody in front of me walking. For a brief second, they were all pottery. They were all shaped about like they are shaped now - some tall, some short, some a little rounder than others. There were none perfect, but they were all holding water, filled to the top. There were some that had cracks, some were different colors - all earth tones. They all looked like the water pots you would see in times where they carried water from the wells. Some had chips on top, some broken handles. Each one was perfect, though. Each one was usable. Each one was sloshing water over the sides as it walked, but never emptied. It was beautiful.
At the Gospel Truth Seminar in Fort Worth, the Lord showed me that as Andrew Wommack spoke, there were seed coming out of his mouth. It was hitting each and every person in the auditorium, in the balcony and on the floor. Some people it bounced off of and some people it sank into. I could not tell who was who and understood immediately also that it was not a picture of who was saved or not, but a picture of the state that their "ground" was at that moment - some were just not paying attention and receiving and some had hard hearts. I looked up to the video screen and the speakers to see if I could see seed also coming from there, and although I could see Andrew and hear him, the seed was only coming from his mouth. I also saw angels with big bowls flying through the crowd scooping up the seed that bounced off the people. God spoke to my heart and told me that His Word is precious and was not to be left there.
The week following the seminar, at school, we were giving one of our "talks". We each were speaking for several minutes. God showed me again, the speaker had seed coming out of their mouth. All along the walls stood the angels with the bowls, but they had their bowls held in both hands in front of them. There was no seed to catch - all was absorbed by the people in the classroom. The Lord spoke to my heart and told me that our school was good ground. It was beautiful.
About two weeks ago, I was in a Saturday night service and happened to get to be in the service instead of the media room. I was worshipping and praying for the couple directly in front of me. As I stood there, I knew I was in the throne room and the Lord showed me myself kneeling before Him with my head held high as a daughter of the King would, while still showing reverence to her Father/Lord. Dribbling out of my mouth was the blood of Communion. He spoke to my heart and told me that it was because of my partaking in Jesus' blood that I could stand in His presence. I know it's not the physical act of Communion that saves me, but it was a beautiful picture of salvation.
Several years ago, I was in a worship service and was really loving on the Lord. He showed me, from afar off, a scene in Heaven. For a long time, I thought I was seeing God on His throne, but I don't think it was. I think it was an ampitheater of some sort with someone preaching. I was very far away.
I was over at my friend's apartment. I had come there to visit with her for a few minutes before I picked up Jacob from the church there in Durant. This friend was going through a divorce. She was being very emotion-led. At this particular time in her life, she was choosing to speak unbelief and ugliness over her husband. The Lord showed me a chasm between the two of us - it looked as real as if she were standing on one side of a canyon and I on the other. I could see the rocky edges and the straight drop-off. We were each standing on one side and staring at each other. For a brief second, there was even wind in our hair. The scripture immediately came to mind where Jesus said he came with a sword to divide. I think it's in Mark. As she continued to speak unbelief and lies of the devil, the chasm widened. I could even hear the ground rumbling and see rocks breaking off and falling into the chasm. I knew at that moment that our friendship was at a changing point. I know that God did not want me to cut her off from me, but was showing me that our relationship was definitely not the same. It was a shift from a mutual fellowship to more of a ministry. I had to separate myself some so that I could move forward in my calling. It was very hard to see that. She is very precious to me.
We had a walk-a-thon at school to pray and raise money for the 2nd year mission trip. We sent out letters requesting help with funds and each had an opportunity to give to the ministry. After the letters were returned, we went as a group to walk around White Rock Lake and pray over the prayer requests. I was walking behind our group when the Lord showed me everybody in front of me walking. For a brief second, they were all pottery. They were all shaped about like they are shaped now - some tall, some short, some a little rounder than others. There were none perfect, but they were all holding water, filled to the top. There were some that had cracks, some were different colors - all earth tones. They all looked like the water pots you would see in times where they carried water from the wells. Some had chips on top, some broken handles. Each one was perfect, though. Each one was usable. Each one was sloshing water over the sides as it walked, but never emptied. It was beautiful.
At the Gospel Truth Seminar in Fort Worth, the Lord showed me that as Andrew Wommack spoke, there were seed coming out of his mouth. It was hitting each and every person in the auditorium, in the balcony and on the floor. Some people it bounced off of and some people it sank into. I could not tell who was who and understood immediately also that it was not a picture of who was saved or not, but a picture of the state that their "ground" was at that moment - some were just not paying attention and receiving and some had hard hearts. I looked up to the video screen and the speakers to see if I could see seed also coming from there, and although I could see Andrew and hear him, the seed was only coming from his mouth. I also saw angels with big bowls flying through the crowd scooping up the seed that bounced off the people. God spoke to my heart and told me that His Word is precious and was not to be left there.
The week following the seminar, at school, we were giving one of our "talks". We each were speaking for several minutes. God showed me again, the speaker had seed coming out of their mouth. All along the walls stood the angels with the bowls, but they had their bowls held in both hands in front of them. There was no seed to catch - all was absorbed by the people in the classroom. The Lord spoke to my heart and told me that our school was good ground. It was beautiful.
About two weeks ago, I was in a Saturday night service and happened to get to be in the service instead of the media room. I was worshipping and praying for the couple directly in front of me. As I stood there, I knew I was in the throne room and the Lord showed me myself kneeling before Him with my head held high as a daughter of the King would, while still showing reverence to her Father/Lord. Dribbling out of my mouth was the blood of Communion. He spoke to my heart and told me that it was because of my partaking in Jesus' blood that I could stand in His presence. I know it's not the physical act of Communion that saves me, but it was a beautiful picture of salvation.
Several years ago, I was in a worship service and was really loving on the Lord. He showed me, from afar off, a scene in Heaven. For a long time, I thought I was seeing God on His throne, but I don't think it was. I think it was an ampitheater of some sort with someone preaching. I was very far away.
No condemnation!
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Thank you, Lord! I receive that I have no condemnation. Thank you, Jesus, for coming here and living a life that would qualify you to die for me. I thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for loving me and for giving me a life. Thank you for the gift of no condemnation.
I do not know how, but I do know that everything we are dealing with right now - the house, the van - it will all be fine. Whatever happens, I believe that we will be well taken care of.
Thank you, Lord! I receive that I have no condemnation. Thank you, Jesus, for coming here and living a life that would qualify you to die for me. I thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for loving me and for giving me a life. Thank you for the gift of no condemnation.
I do not know how, but I do know that everything we are dealing with right now - the house, the van - it will all be fine. Whatever happens, I believe that we will be well taken care of.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
hard parts
Right now, things are difficult. I know that there is some revelation that is missing somewhere. It has to be. It's time for our miracle.
I know I'll come full swing with my emotions. They are not getting away from me. I am angry right now, but not fearful. I know that our family will be fine. I know that the Lord is our provider.
We need some wise counsel. We need some direction. I've been asking the Lord and I just don't know what I'm missing. We need somebody to shed some light on this mess.
Our house is up for foreclosure sale on January 4th. Not good news, but I know that's not the end of it. It seems that if you look at the circumstances, we really only have the option of paying up or going into bankruptcy. We really do not want bankruptcy, but it's not a discharge of debt, it would be a repayment plan over a few years.
I want God to bring a miracle. Truly, that is what I want to happen. I don't want to move. I don't want to uproot our kids. I don't want to pack this mess. I don't want to deal with all that.
Right now, if we had what we need to get out of this hole, it would take about $10,000.00 between the house and the van. I know that is not a big thing to God, I just don't know what's keeping it from happening.
I understand so much more about the Kingdom's advance. I understand there's major opposition to God's Kingdom. I get it. And I don't regret a second of that advance. I'm just tired of not understanding whatever it is that I need to understand.
Lord, God, I need you. I need you every second of every day, but right now I need you to show me what I need to do. Where is my revelation missing? What do I need to understand? You say you will give wisdom to anybody who asks...I'm asking. With all my heart, I'm asking. I do not believe for one second it is your will for us to move out of this home. I do not believe for one second that it is your will for us to lose the van. I don't believe at all that it's your will for us to even owe a dime on either one. What would you have us do? What direction do we start heading in? Where is a job for David? Where are the kids that I'm to babysit? Would you please show me?
I know I'll come full swing with my emotions. They are not getting away from me. I am angry right now, but not fearful. I know that our family will be fine. I know that the Lord is our provider.
We need some wise counsel. We need some direction. I've been asking the Lord and I just don't know what I'm missing. We need somebody to shed some light on this mess.
Our house is up for foreclosure sale on January 4th. Not good news, but I know that's not the end of it. It seems that if you look at the circumstances, we really only have the option of paying up or going into bankruptcy. We really do not want bankruptcy, but it's not a discharge of debt, it would be a repayment plan over a few years.
I want God to bring a miracle. Truly, that is what I want to happen. I don't want to move. I don't want to uproot our kids. I don't want to pack this mess. I don't want to deal with all that.
Right now, if we had what we need to get out of this hole, it would take about $10,000.00 between the house and the van. I know that is not a big thing to God, I just don't know what's keeping it from happening.
I understand so much more about the Kingdom's advance. I understand there's major opposition to God's Kingdom. I get it. And I don't regret a second of that advance. I'm just tired of not understanding whatever it is that I need to understand.
Lord, God, I need you. I need you every second of every day, but right now I need you to show me what I need to do. Where is my revelation missing? What do I need to understand? You say you will give wisdom to anybody who asks...I'm asking. With all my heart, I'm asking. I do not believe for one second it is your will for us to move out of this home. I do not believe for one second that it is your will for us to lose the van. I don't believe at all that it's your will for us to even owe a dime on either one. What would you have us do? What direction do we start heading in? Where is a job for David? Where are the kids that I'm to babysit? Would you please show me?
Friday, December 10, 2010
A new venture.
We are babysitting. The Lord put it on our hearts to go to school in the mornings and keep children in the afternoon and evenings. We have our first kids this week. They are part-timers, and brothers - three of them. Really good, sweet, boys. They are a bit rambunctious, but that's just boys.
We are waiting on the Lord to bring our full-timers.
We are waiting on the Lord to bring our full-timers.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Leland Shores came to our school today.
My friend used a phrase yesterday "heavy revvys" for heavy revelations. I thought it was perfect, actually. So true! That was just a side note...
I honestly did not know what to expect from Leland today because I've never really heard him. He brought his sweet wife with him. They were such a blessing!
A long time ago, God showed me that He is outside of time as we think of it. Think of a timeline, like you would draw with the beginning on the far left and a line to the end on the far right and everything charted in between. We are traveling our little part of that line from where our birth is marked to the end where our death will be. Of course we can't see the line ahead of us. We can only know what's behind us, but in reality, what's behind us only exists in memories. So, the exact moment we are in is really all that is real.
God doesn't walk on that line. He is outside of it and sees the beginning and end all at once. That doesn't negate the need for the line or us to walk it. And it doesn't make our decisions that we make unnecessary or anything. It's a way to look at it.
Anyway, Leland did a presentation that made things a bit more clear to me.
He also tied in the understanding of spirit, soul and body. He showed that because we are in God and He is "I AM", we are only concerned with the present time also. I know that's not as power-packed as he did it, but words leave me. Plus, we need to leave in 15 minutes. =)
I love school!
I honestly did not know what to expect from Leland today because I've never really heard him. He brought his sweet wife with him. They were such a blessing!
A long time ago, God showed me that He is outside of time as we think of it. Think of a timeline, like you would draw with the beginning on the far left and a line to the end on the far right and everything charted in between. We are traveling our little part of that line from where our birth is marked to the end where our death will be. Of course we can't see the line ahead of us. We can only know what's behind us, but in reality, what's behind us only exists in memories. So, the exact moment we are in is really all that is real.
God doesn't walk on that line. He is outside of it and sees the beginning and end all at once. That doesn't negate the need for the line or us to walk it. And it doesn't make our decisions that we make unnecessary or anything. It's a way to look at it.
Anyway, Leland did a presentation that made things a bit more clear to me.
He also tied in the understanding of spirit, soul and body. He showed that because we are in God and He is "I AM", we are only concerned with the present time also. I know that's not as power-packed as he did it, but words leave me. Plus, we need to leave in 15 minutes. =)
I love school!
Monday, December 6, 2010
On my ride home...
I was listening to Duane talk about the Laws of Spiritual Progression. He was telling the church about an experience with God where God explained why he didn't ask Duane to do something in advance...He just sprung it on him right before-hand. God explained to him that if He had told him earlier, he would have talked himself out of it.
Well, the Holy Spirit pointed out a few things I would have talked myself out of. One of them was school.
I didn't hear from God that I was going to go to school until just a few weeks before hand. David heard like a year before, but didn't press the issue. He was gracious and patient with me...much more so than I would have been with him. He's good like that.
If God had told me a year before that David was going to quit working and go to Bible College, I would have told him he was completely nuts. Completely.
And now here we are. And I know that I would have talked myself out of it. And I also know that this is exactly where we are supposed to be and for right now.
There are trials, yes. And they are rough. But we're learning that to walk in the Kindom of God, you have to move out of the kingdom of the world. And anytime there's a Kingdom advance, there's opposition. With as radical of a change as we made by stepping toward God's Kingdom, we will and do have just as radical of an opposition.
Well, the Holy Spirit pointed out a few things I would have talked myself out of. One of them was school.
I didn't hear from God that I was going to go to school until just a few weeks before hand. David heard like a year before, but didn't press the issue. He was gracious and patient with me...much more so than I would have been with him. He's good like that.
If God had told me a year before that David was going to quit working and go to Bible College, I would have told him he was completely nuts. Completely.
And now here we are. And I know that I would have talked myself out of it. And I also know that this is exactly where we are supposed to be and for right now.
There are trials, yes. And they are rough. But we're learning that to walk in the Kindom of God, you have to move out of the kingdom of the world. And anytime there's a Kingdom advance, there's opposition. With as radical of a change as we made by stepping toward God's Kingdom, we will and do have just as radical of an opposition.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Where to begin?
I have no clue. I just know that I really want this time in our lives chronicled.
My husband and I started Charis Bible College this past September. We have seen so many miracles and had so many revelations that it would be a shame not to have them written somewhere. And I suck at journaling in a notebook, so am gonna give this a shot. I have another blog, but it's more family stuff.
In order for us to come to school, my husband had to leave his job. He was a cadet in a police academy, and the academy did not allow him to be involved in another school of any kind. It would not have been humanly possible anyway - at least not and have kept a family life of any kind.
God has proven faithful along the way. We are stepping out of the world's kingdom and into the Kingdom of Heaven. And it's not been without struggles - financial, family, friends - you name it, it's been challenging. The call on our lives must be pretty big, at least if I can surmise from the size of the target on us.
As I remember things along the way, I'll be putting them here.
My husband and I started Charis Bible College this past September. We have seen so many miracles and had so many revelations that it would be a shame not to have them written somewhere. And I suck at journaling in a notebook, so am gonna give this a shot. I have another blog, but it's more family stuff.
In order for us to come to school, my husband had to leave his job. He was a cadet in a police academy, and the academy did not allow him to be involved in another school of any kind. It would not have been humanly possible anyway - at least not and have kept a family life of any kind.
God has proven faithful along the way. We are stepping out of the world's kingdom and into the Kingdom of Heaven. And it's not been without struggles - financial, family, friends - you name it, it's been challenging. The call on our lives must be pretty big, at least if I can surmise from the size of the target on us.
As I remember things along the way, I'll be putting them here.
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