Love

One of the last days I was at work, God showed me something pretty cool.  Of course, it happened in the bathroom.  I get alot of revelation in the bathroom for some reason.  Maybe because it's one of the only places I can get by myself.  I mean, I don't have that privilege at home of pottying alone, but at Albertson's I certainly did.

Anyway....the verses in Corinthians on love were floating through my brain.  Duane had mentioned that you can replace the word "love" with "God" to see attibutes of God throughout the scripture because God is love.  For example:  replace "Love is patient, Love is kind" with "God is patient, God is kind".  I've heard this before, but was just really thinking about it as I was stocking the cigarettes.  I went ahead and looked it up in the little Gideon's Bible that somebody left behind the counter. 

I headed to the bathroom and was just still kinda' thinking on it when the verses where Jesus was saying that the two greatest commandments were to love God with all you have and love your neighbor as yourself popped in my head.  I started thinking love is patient, love is kind...I should be patient and kind with my neighbor because I'm supposed to love my neighbor as I love myself.  Hmmm...I'm supposed to love myself as I love my neighbor.  I'm supposed to love myself.  Oh, I'm supposed to be loving to myself.  I'm supposed to be patient and kind to myself.  Oh, wow.  If I am patient, kind, long-suffering, slow to anger and all that with myself, how can I have a sin consciousness.  Oh, wow.  I think I stumbled onto one of the keys to not having a sin consciousness. 

And of course, it was in the bathroom.

I survived...

And came out on the other side actually good.  I really enjoyed things once they settled down a bit. 

I mean, Emily had a bit of a prima-donna attitude.  I don't know if it's her age or not, but it's getting pretty bad.  We had a small, contained blow-up.  I didn't kill her, so I guess it ended well.  I love Cody and Emily, but I am always thankful for the break of the time that they're both at their Mom's.  That's just straight up honesty for ya'.  You can't really know how it is to have step kids unless you have them.  You have all the responsability of your own kids without the authority.  It's difficult at best, but exceptionally rewarding at the same time.  It's like the thing you have to work so hard at that it's much sweeter when there're good times and things.  Well, enough of that - I think the subject of step children could be a daily post of it's own.

Greg and Andrea stayed a while after everybody else left and I'm so glad they did.  I really, really enjoyed them.  And Joshua loves, loves, loves Paige.  He misses her.  They are talking about moving here when he gets out and if he can get out early, coming on this way.  I would so love to have them here. 

That's enough for now.

I'm trying.

Our house is full of people.  16 people to be exact.  And they're all staying here.  I love it and hate it all at the same time.  It' hard for me when somebody stays here because I'm a very "in it's place" kind of person.  NOTHING is "in it's place".  I'm trying.  Lord knows I'm trying.  I'm trying to just not pay attention when somebody spills a whole Dr. Pepper on the floor.  Or I pick a for real (HUGE) boogar off the wall.  No kidding.  And there's trash everywhere.  It's awful.  But, I can spend my time walking around cleaning everything up over and over, or I can sit here and blog about it and let everybody else just enjoy themselves with no pressure from me.  I've come a long way.  A really long way.  There was a time when I wouldn't even be able to realistically even see the option of sitting here blogging about it and just leaving it all alone. 

David's family is so very different from mine.  I mean, I know that they're now my family too, but you know.  I'm just stressed out a bit.  And I'm frustrated with David.