I'm critical.

Wow.  I was wondering what was up with David.  Lately he's been pulling away from me.  He doesn't go to school in the mornings anymore with me.  He finds reasons to avoid me.  Just very subtly. 

Well, I pushed him into a corner and he let me have it.

I'm critical.  I don't value his opinion.  I get mad and the kids scatter.

I guess so. 

It's a hard pill to swallow and I know it has to be gotten under control.

I know that a part of it will come about through my current fast.  My flesh is not wanting to line up with the spirit, so I'm not going to give it a choice.

Through Christ, I have no condemnation.  Man, that's hard to believe sometimes.  I know it's true.  I know this is not going to put me down an emotional rollercoaster.  Right now, I'm feeling pretty yucky, but I'll make it.

He told me that I put my best foot forward with our classmates and here at home I am critical of every little thing he does.  He said that I minister to my friends, then am critical about them.  It's pretty much true. 

Jesus, I need you to show me what revelation I'm missing to break this bond on me.  I don't like it.  I don't like my flesh having this control.  I don't like my husband having that opinion of me.  It is a poison and it brings death to us.  I am redeemed from the curse.  I don't have to be in any bondage.  Just like I don't like putting anything into my body that causes problems if I don't have it, I don't want anything coming out of my mouth that causes problems.  Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.  I need to have this heart condition fixed, Lord.  I need it.  I know you are my very present help in time of need and I know you are here. 

Thank you for your finished work at the cross and that I can look to it.  Thank you for what you've already done for me.  Please, please, please show me how to walk in it.  I'm knocking.  With all my heart, I'm knocking.