another awesome night at CBC

Last night, I went to night classes because my friend Lisa was going with me.  It was a really great experience for us both.

I have only been to night school twice before last night.  Once on a part-timer's night and once not.  On the nights the part-timers are there (Tues and Thurs), it's a pretty full room.  On the other nights, there's only one first year. 

I was the only one who hadn't done my Relationship with God talk, so I did.  I felt so silly and self-conscious.  It was awful.  I knew I had heard from God on the subject, but just felt like I fumbled over every word and stuttered.  I was miserable while talking. 

After I sat down and I'm sure turned bright red, a girl behind me said that the Lord used something I talked about to set her free.  Oh, how that changed everything.  I felt so silly for being self-conscious.  I should never be!  I should only be God-conscious and no matter how it comes out, if I'm surrendered to Him, it will be the Word somebody needs for that moment.  So what if I stutter a little bit?  So what if I don't know that group?  So what if whatever? 

It is so selfish to be so worried about how my speeches come out.  I had an awesome one on Wednesday, and felt like that one just didn't measure up.  I am learning (praise God) that shyness is also pride.  Pride is simply esteeming my own opinion of myself more highly than God's.  Who am I to be shy and worried about how I look when God told me that He would give me the Word to speak?  Who am I to esteem my opinion of myself more highly than God's opinion of me?  That's pride just as much as if I were to think I was better than everybody else.

Oh, what you learn at Bible School!